Born to Be My Client: My Pitch to The Boss

I’ve just completed watching Springsteen on Broadway for the millionth time – in addition to seeing it live last year – and it hit me like some sort of chain lightning. Enough with the healthcare and higher education PR. I’ve been missing the obvious this whole time!

“Bruce should be my client,” I thought to myself, maybe over a glass of winter sangria or two.

Truth be told, we were pretty much client besties back in 2008 when he graciously provided his image to accompany our campaign for the Community FoodBank of New Jersey’s “We Can’t Let This Bank Fail,” a branding and fundraising effort to address the dire straits of the state’s largest food bank following the financial crisis. The fact that he didn’t know that I ran that campaign is, frankly, irrelevant, if you’re asking. What’s important is that there’s a track record of success and renewed fire in my soul to make this a successful, working relationship.

Bruce Springsteen We Can't Let This Bank Fail

So, just for you, here’s why I think he would be a great fit in my PR portfolio:

Bruce is Always on Time (+/- 15 minutes). Being prompt isn’t usually the hallmark of a rock star, but Bruce consistently shows up when he says he will. Concert at 8:00? He’s on stage by 8:15, a very respectable margin of error for a rock God. This means he’ll be on time for our weekly check-ins.

Bruce is Willing to Make Bold Statements. Bruce is willing to stick his neck out and say something interesting, making him a great candidate for an SMT. When, in 2016, he confidently asserted to the world that Trump would never be elected, I appreciated this bold, yet erroneous, comment. I bet I could book 25 – maybe even 30 – segments.

Bruce is an Excellent Writer. He can easily be used for a trade byline or op-ed given his writing prowess. I mean, c’mon, who else is writing “It’s a town full of losers, I’m pulling out of here to win.” I bet there would be minimal editing for me, definitely a plus!

Bruce is an Excellent Salesman. Clients who can convincingly sell a story are a plus! Growin’ up in Connecticut, I believed that New Jersey was some sort of mystical, heaven-like sanctum. Asbury Park, Atlantic City and Freehold all had a certain lure. Maplewood, NJ is my hometown, so I guess you could say I fell for it.

Bruce is AIS (Always in Shape). This means he’s perpetually camera-ready, so we don’t need to have any awkward conversations on turtlenecks being a good look for him or how a real man wears Spanx. 

Bruce Accepts Nothing Less Than the Cover. Time, Newsweek, Rolling Stone, Esquire. I mean, he may be a little needy on this front, but I can work with this. 

There is no BS Factor. I refer you to Tunnel of Love. Say no more.

I’m feeling really enthusiastic about this career re-birth. After all, who wouldn’t want to be my client? All I need to do is to wait patiently until I get the call from my new boss declaring, “Linda let me be the one …to be your client.”

Linda Bernstein Jasper
Linda Bernstein Jasper, Vice President
  • Harlem Globetrotters
  • Mary Kay
  • CeraVe
  • VTech
  • National Canine Research Council
  • Hard Rock International
  • South African Tourism
  • Advil
  • Quest Diagnostics
  • Mini Oreo
  • Quaker State
  • Zoetis
  • UPS
  • Timberland
  • BMW
  • National Confectioners Association
  • Del Monte
  • ChapStick
  • Pillsbury
  • Tough Mudder
  • WebMD
  • Bayer Animal Health
  • Mike & Ike
  • Casio
  • Outrigger Resorts
  • Burger King
  • Bosch
  • Meow Mix
  • Hong Kong Tourism Board
  • Reef
  • BD
  • NUK
  • Cardinal Health
  • Telemundo
  • Preparation H
  • Playmobil
  • Chiquita
  • NFL Players Association
  • Entenmann's
  • Pacira
  • Goodyear Tire & Rubber Company
  • Lifetime Digital
  • Pup-Peroni
  • The Container Store
  • Accuweather
  • Novartis
  • Crayola
  • BabyCenter
  • Harley-Davidson
  • Shell Rotella
  • Cartoon Network
  • Newman's Own Foundation
  • Disney Parks & Resorts
  • Pennzoil
  • Milk-Bone
  • MLB Players Association
  • Courvoisier
  • Chunky
  • Cheerios
  • Cayman Islands
  • Longines
  • USTA
  • ESPN
  • BASF
  • Penn Medicine
  • USA TODAY Sports Media Group
  • Fiat Chrysler Automobiles
  • The University of Virginia Darden School of Business
  • Red Robin Gourmet Burgers & Brews
  • Allergan
  • Yahoo Sports
  • Graco
  • Heathrow International Airport
  • Humana
  • Candy Land
  • Lane Bryant
  • Salix
  • Owens Corning
  • United States Golf Association
  • Red Bull Arena
  • IMAX
  • Babies"R"Us
  • Arby's Foundation
  • Perdue
  • Banfield Pet Hospital
  • Stryker
  • Murad
  • Eggland's Best
  • Daytona International Speedway
  • GE Water
  • Seventh Generation
  • AOL Engadget
  • Pfizer Legal Alliance
  • VF Corporation
  • USA Swimming Foundation
  • Mohegan Sun